Bitty Beat Down - Fashion

Well, I need to do this more often. There are a couple thins I have been wanting to write about. I do have a healthy rant on SL work ethic spinning in my head, but that shall come later I suppose. This look came when I wanted to stop and actually buy something for myself. While browsing through market place I came across a fanfuckingtastic hoodie.

• Skin:  The Body Co. Ash medium
• Shape: Custom
• Eyes: Poetic Colors - faerie eyes witchbright
• Hoodie: .Shi Hoodie (unisex) *MESH*
• Pants: .Shi Tweed Meggins (Homme) *MESH,.shi suspenders sold separately*
• Boots: [Gos] - GTFO Boot in Black
• Gloves: *grasp* Biker Glove - (Free group item)
• Lip Piercing: [ < ] kOwP [ > ] Piercings *=* Mercy *=*
• Clavicle Piercing: :Little Pricks:
• Watch: *BLITZED* Legacy Watch - black -
• Cigarette: .:Hermony:. / Ultimate Cigarette / Package

Nerdy Elf - Fashion Post

It has been awhile since I have blogged. Though I coin it up to being busy, I have simply been putting this off.


.....Nerdy Elf.....

• Hair - *Drot* - The Kenji - Black Ice
• Skin - The Body Co. - Ash 04 - Medium
• Shape - Custom 
• Eyes - Poetic Colors - Witchbright 
• Ears - [ni.ju]/[][]Trap[][] Collab - Gelf Ears
• Glasses - Reek - Augie glasses
• Sweater - *RoTtEn DeFiAnCe*- Swag Argle Sweater with Vest-Black (Mesh)
• Pants - Juice .:. Dixie Jeans
• Boots - [Gos] GTFO Boots in Black
• Gloves - SiniStyle Black Gloves
• Bracelet - NIKITA :: bangles black

"Amurikans", This One is for You.

I was not going to write something political or unrelated to SL. I was not going to do it  but I cannot help but feel so passionate on this subject. Here I am, residing in one of the most richest and privileged countries in the world and I feel like I'm the only one who actually fucking appreciates it.

Now this is not all election based, you see for years and for a few elections I have seen Americans whine and cry over who wins as president. Fine, feel upset..I can sympathize. You believe in someone so it's natural to want them to come on top, but what is really getting my goat is the number of people who are wishing to secede. Yes, SECEDE. There are many Texans, and others in states signing petitions to remove themselves from America. Are you fucking kidding me? You want to give up your citizenship? Well fuck then hand it on over to me. Me, and other foreigners who have come here want nothing more than to take your place.

Many of these people need to realize one thing: they're spoiled. That's right, the average fucking American is spoiled rotten and not realizing it. We sit in our central air controlled homes, with our washers, dryers, cable, clean tap water and insulation and take it all for granted. We're also wasteful as hell. I'm from Japan, and we don't even use clothes dryers..and central air? HAH. We have room to room units for air conditioning. And in some of the older homes? Heating? Forget it. We have a room for a fire but otherwise we bundle the fuck up. I won't even go into the time I spent in China and how the average person over there lives. They're just grateful for a meal everyday and able to boil their water to drink. Even in the winter when many of them are cold and shivering, I never heard a complaint or a whine. All smiles, all family and friend. 

Yet here I see if someone's wireless go out for even an hour, they go on a bitch fit like it's the end of the world. It makes me sick, but for the most part I hold my tongue cause I realize most Americans don't know better. They assume everyone has the luxuries they have, so I'll forgive that ignorance, I guess. Yet stop and think before you say you wish to "leave" the United States. Think really hard on what you would be giving up and sacrificing before you think you want to leave or secede. Ready to give up your social security? Ready to give up the government that will come to your aide in a natural disaster? Ready to give up on equal rights? I could go on forever..but if you are still stuck on packing up..Well, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. 

I may not be an American, yet, but I am proud to be here. Take some pride in your country. Especially to those who never left it, you honestly have no idea how blessed you are.

- Until next time,

Yu 

Karma

First off, I will say this post is very much in relation to my previous written post on friendship.

Karma. Is it real? Is it myth? Well if you want to put it in more common sense, karma is a more spiritual way of looking at the Newton's third law, "To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction." Fear not my few readers, I am not here to give you science lesson, I am here to exemplify the word of karma and how everything has a consequence....and it even applies to Second Life.

Consequences. We are all held accountable for our actions. For example, if we do not go to work without informing anyone, it is possible we will get fired. If we hit someone with our car, we will have to pay for the damages. Everything in this world is full of consequences for the things we do..but for some reason people on Second Life think they should not, nor cannot be held accountable for their actions. Yet I am here to say that this is very untrue.

Let me remind you all, even though SL is a virtual world and we are hidden behind our screens, we are still dealing with real people with real emotions..and believe it or not, these people also have brains. We are not mindless drones and therefore we think for ourselves. Therefore it is natural for people to say "enough is enough." Especially if a friend is proving to be someone other than that. And while we may wish to mend our friendships, there is a time when we realize there are people within Second Life who are not here to make friends, but to use, abuse and overall manipulate the people around them. Some people are lacking love, control or self confidence in RL, so they use SL as a tool to take back that control or that need for attention. Hell, I actually worry about the people who spend a little too much on SL, cause it means perhaps they are lacking that RL interaction every human being should have. Yet I won't get into that, I am going off-topic.

My main point is that karma still exists in Second Life. Everyone only gets so many chances until people begin to realize who they actually are. While it may be easy to sit there and blame everyone else around you, instead of being accountable for your own actions, you should really stop and look around. Perhaps there is a reason people around you are defriending you, ignoring you and overall stop caring about you. Can you honestly still sit there and play the victim game? Can you really just continue to call everyone a "betrayer" and "bad friend" while you remain guilt free?  Sorry to say, the world has not gone mad. There is no one turning people against you...karma has suddenly come to smack you in the face.

You see, treat people the way you want to be treated. Treasure your friends and loved ones..and lastly, take some goddamn responsibility for your actions and words. Pride. Ego. Self-Importance. All of these things are not worth being alone for. And while you may think you're the best thing that has happened to your friends and loved ones, you're really not. No one is lucky to be your friend, you should stop and count your blessing. I know I do, because I have learned from my mistakes and my karma.

I can only hope people learn from their own lessons as well, or they will never grow.

Until next time,

Yu

The Little Things

Normally I am not a morning person. Seeing me conscious before 9 am usually means something or someone woke me up and as a result all with suffer. Of course this time it was my alarm, but I also saw another thing on my phone that instantly put a smile on my face.



It's the little things that can change a person's perspective and day. Yesterday I pondered over the things that  bring me down and the things that uplift me. Overall happiness will never be reached because there will always be negative forces in your life. Perhaps the most important thing though is to focus on the things that make you smile instead of dwelling on things you cannot control. Therefore instead of revolving my day around the negative I took time to embrace the positive.



Now the positive can come from many things, and not just people around you. I find listening to music in the morning motivates me and uplifts my spirit. I also take time to sit down and give my dogs proper loving. Certain things I see or read on FB, restoring my faith in humanity. Again, it will always be the tiniest things that can change your whole day. While its the negative thoughts, negative people, or the fucking cold weather outside that try to drag you down, you have to remember the small things that get you through the day.

My nephew posted a LONG ass status appreciating all the people that make him smile. I'm sure it made a lot of people happy. Everything takes a bit nurturing, even the best of relationships. Even though you are already happy as can be, don't forget the details. A simple text, a smile or even a wave to a stranger can completely change the outcome of a day. Even though I feel cheesy writing this, I am slowly learning that being happy is more important than always being "right." That friends mean more than pride. Lastly, anyone who tries to get me down is not even worth a thought. There are many beautiful things going on around us, and if we stop to take in the good rather than the bad we can easily turn around the mood.

In a previous blog "Let it Go" I also talked about negativity. While we all have our weak moments and cannot help but feel depressed, sad or hopeless, this is normal. Usually when I feel this way I know it's time to just go to bed and wake up with a fresh start because staying awake and being self-destructive helps no one. Sadly I know plenty of people who thrive on the negative like it's their favorite meal of the day. It fuels them, not realizing that not only that it is destructive to themselves but also to the people around them. A negative thought is contagious in the brain...one thought gives birth to many and before you realize it you're stuck in a dark place and inconsolable.

That is why taking a breath and focusing on the positive is most important. While most upset people don't like to hear "think positive," it does hold true. Then again, I think those negative people have to realize it for themselves. Course I know I won't always be this mushy. Maybe I am just having a good day, or maybe someone slipped drugs in my coffee, either way, I want to try to keep this attitude for awhile.

Until next time,

- Yu

.Just Breath.

OMG A Fashion Post

Hello,

Well since I have been living quite peacefully, I have nothing to bitch about today. Haha, Good Job SL, you have managed to stay a little less drama filled than usual. Kudos.

Since I can't costume up and do Halloween RL, I decided to put together an original costume/look for the hell of it on SL. It really started with the horns, then with some inspiration from Mononoke (Kodama), I was able to piece this together.

Hope you like it.

Skin -  the body co. - Ash (med)

Shape - Dura -Custom-

Eyes - AVId: - Black moon eyes

Horns -ni.ju- Eurexiaun Horns

Hair -*Rock Candy*  -  Fiery (white)

Claws - Faeilin- Claws v.6.1 

Ropes - "ROPES"  - Slave Male

Shoulder Guard - CCR - Arrancar Arm and Shoulder

Tattoo - .Little Pricks. - The Warrior - full Body white

Faun Set - *RoTtEn DeFiAnCe* - White Fall Faun 

Mask -[LANEVO]- Kodama 

Stress Seeping Through

Well it's been a few since I posted last. My RL, though not extremely busy is still taking me away from my Second Life. Perhaps the most important thing for me at the moment is to find a job. I am sure many of you can relate, especially in this economy.

It is not just the money that I need, unfortunately a good job is also what I need to root me to this country. Again I am on a time crunch and I will probably need a job before the holidays. Therefore each passing day I feel the weight of finding one. Course this article is not going to feature me bitching about my RL. We all have problems we have to deal with and many stresses, which is why I believed I made a mistake the other day and let my real life stress affect negatively on my SL experience.

I constantly tell my friends and family on SL that unlike real life, we have many choices. In real life, whether it be a work environment, family or even friends..it is not so easy to block the negativity that hits us daily. Second Life allows us to cut that out with a click of a button. Someone harassing you? Mute them. Someone coming onto your property? Ban them. These wonderful features cut the stress and allow us to enjoy our Second Lives. That's why I always encourage my loved ones to let go of those who are poison, because SL is meant to be enjoyed..and maybe even an escape from our daily RL stress.


Of course we are all human. Sometimes we can't help it. For example yesterday I had such an awful day. What I thought would be a day long interview for a good company, I found out it was another pyramid scam. You know, the type of job where you go business to business selling shit? Sure, they have a base salary..only if you open 8 new accounts a week, otherwise its commission. There were no benefits, no payment for the mileage of traveling etc. To say the least it was very disappointing and long day. I probably should have gone home and laid down for a while, listened to music and give myself time to calm down before logging in. I did the exact opposite, I walked straight into my room, took off my jacket and without changing out of my uncomfortable suit, I logged onto SL.


 Focused on my own bad day, I could not absorb the surroundings or other people's feelings. I tped into my club and was immediately surrounded by people and IMs. To say the least I was feeling overwhelmed, but I wanted to be there nonetheless. Still, the stress I felt that day gave me absolute zero patience, which resulted in an even worse day when I got into a fight. I will not go into it as it is my own personal business, but I did learn one thing important.. the need to drop my stress from whatever the day I had before logging on. In the end, none of us want to take out our frustrations on everyone else around us, especially to loved ones. Sadly though alot of people are on SL for that very reason. I do not find it excusable.

I hear people say: "Cut him/her a break, you have no idea what is going on in their RL right now."

And sure, maybe they are going through something and it causes them to act out, but it's no excuse to treat others poorly around you daily because of a chip on your shoulder. We are all on SL to unwind and experience things in a stress-free way. If we always selfishly harbor our bad realities and take them out on strangers, it overall makes for a bad internet environment. So I will encourage myself and others to stop and take a deep breath before logging on. If RL is kicking you in the nuts or ovaries, the last thing you want to do is turn it on the people who do care about you. I find that listening to music or watching TV..or even having a cigarette and petting my dogs helps.

Even I can learn things too now and then.

Until next time,

Yu

Let It Go

It's been a moment since I had a chance to write, but of course even from my small hiatus from the internet did not stop time. Drama still ensued as normal. Though it would be easy to go into what the exact drama is or once again why people feel the need to cause it, there is one thing I would simply like to say.

Why can't anyone just..let it go?

I mean this with all honesty. You see this drama is not random, it is simply fueled by individuals holding an ancient grudge and hate towards others. Yet it makes me wonder how petty can you be? First off, whatever misunderstanding or tiff that happened, it was probably long ago. If not? I bet it was over something very small, like a club scheduling for instance. [ ;) ]. Or for the mere fact that its Second Life.  So it makes me wonder what causes people to hold grudges for so long and to cause them to invest time into "ruining" someone else on SL.

Yes I said "ruin", in quotations. Why? Cause it's hilarious. Since SL is a place were you cannot kill someone, or physically hurt them, the next best thing I guess you can do is try to harm their reputation. As if that honestly works. I still know people who run around crying about me, but its ironic. All those who have something horrible to say about me actually know nothing about me. I think its even more funny for them to try to tell my close friends these things, cause I know they scoff at it.

My SL is for me to have fun. Therefore when I came back and heard all the recent drama I simply said 'I don't give a fuck what they do.' ... After all they are the ones obsessing. You know you should take a deep breath and try letting go whatever unimportant grudge you hold, because it's not worth it.

Check this out from this website.

. When we are in a negative state we do not attract those elements that would make our lives advance; rather we attract the circumstances that support us in thinking something is wrong, and we get stuck. Simply put, when we stay thinking negative, we attract negative emotions and events. Thus when one is in a negative state everything seems to go wrong.

So honestly kiddos, you ain't doing yourselves any favors. Whats even more hilarious is that I notice most of these negative Nancies flock together. It's like a cluster of hate, while pretending to be the most loving group of friends. Deep down I know none of them trust each other, and they will continually drag each other down. Well this is dandy with me, cause I've long since let it go.

Let just hope others take my advice. It's 10x more healthy to think on the good things than dwell over a couple of asshats on the internet.

Until next time,

Yu

Alt Abuse

I been meaning to write this sooner, but I have been preoccupied with a lot of things. I spent half the day at the doctors, rest of it in bed. I also plan to spend the majority of my day in bed..and maybe get some fresh air.  If you're wondering what I was at the doctor's for yesterday, too bad. Either you know or you don't, again my blog will not reflect that part of my life.

I didn't want to wait any longer to write this. I feel like if I stop writing in here for an extended amount of time, I will never write it in again. Now onto the topic.

Alts..most, if not everyone has one on Second Life. We use alts for multiple purposes. They can be used as models, banks, bots or even holding name purposes. Other people like  myself had made alts for artistic purposes. I made my alt not only for some peace, but also to explore a darker side and use him to indulge into the arts. He is an extension of myself but is still me. I have entrusted a number of my friends to know who my alt is so they can contact me. My alt is not there for deception.

Now, this is where I get to the main point of the title. Alt abuse. How many is too many? Also, why do people think it is okay to continuously make alts in order to harass someone. If they block you the first time, shouldn't that give you the hint? I do not see the reason why someone would also make an alt to spread rumors around. This has not happened to me, but this has happened to two dear people of mine. For instance someone made an alt and spread rumors about him and to anyone who hung out with him..to tarnish any reputation or chance of a relationship. Another friend had to deal with an ex-friend of theirs alting, making fake logs and making a sad attempt to ruin her business.

Seriously folks, how much fucking time do you have?

I can barely balance two alts, let alone thinking of making even more to bug and harass people. Then again it gets worse. The two alts I mentioned above were just noobs, blanks. No pictures, early creation date and they were never used again...but others? People will put a lot of linden and love into their alt. They'll make it pretty and perfect and set it out into SL. So..whats the problem? I did the same thing with my alt. Yet lets make this clear.

I do not, nor will ever use my alt to harass the current people I know. Nor will I try use him to play mind games or to cheat on my boyfriend. None of that is sane to me..yet it happens. I can name a few people in the gay community who love making alts. Hell, I know one guy who made and alt recently and is passing it off as his boyfriend. I wonder how long that will last, but I think it's sad hes lying to his friends. Then again, this said person also was on an alt while his main one was claiming he was dying of cancer of some sort. Classy man...and most of us know who you are. I won't bother to say names.

I've seen others make alts after they claim they quit SL, only to roam around and do the same last thing they made them want to quit last time. Not only that, instead of a fresh start they just keep thrusting their alt into the same old community in hopes they can pass off for someone new. Well..sorry everyone, eventually we all find out who you are. There is really no point in hiding it. An alt should have a purpose, other than holding multiple relationships, harassing or playing mind games. Second Life provides a chance for us to have multiple faces and identities..unlike RL. So maybe it's time to stop abusing it.

Until next time,

Yu

Saying Goodbye

Today.. I had to do something I haven't done in a long time.

The news hit me like a wave, and I was unable to comprehend let alone let it sink in. It was this past Friday I found out she died, Jane. I remember I had to DJ then, but I was too focused just to get through the day to not think about it. Subconsciously though I think it has been eating at me. I've been irrational and emotional during the day and drunk at night the past two days. It was today I finally had to face it all.

I'll give you all some background. My first couple years in the USA were unbearable. I could barely speak English, I was bullied and overall felt very alone. Yet there was one classmate who took me in. Kyle was my best friend growing up..and his mother, Jane had become something like a surrogate. She was full of life, and had many "adopted" sons roaming her house. We weren't bad kids, but we were hard to understand and often got in trouble. Those years of my youth were less painful with that family, I had a friend who cared enough for me to let me be apart of his life.

Sadly once high school was over.. I was already transforming in that ugly person I often referred to myself as and we lost touch. There was a huge gap where I have not seen or spoken to my once good friend. I heard tidbits of news now and then and worried about him..but I never appreciated him enough. I never took time to see him when I should of, and I am sure he felt the same. We were once best friends who lost touch..and the reason was simply because our lives took us elsewhere. Course as time went on, the news of his mother became worse and worse. Jane's husband left her for her best friend..and then the spiral happened.

I feel mostly for my friend, who loved his family so much but had to watch as his mother give up on living. I am sad to say the woman who gave me so much to me and many others, could not find the will to fight on. She let her depression and sadness bring her into a state where she did not want help. She drank heavily, so much to where it eventually killed her. The doctors told her that most of  her liver was destroyed, and her kidneys were no longer working. We like to believe people die of old age, or health complications..but for Jane, it was her own sadness that eventually made her give up on life. She was a loving woman, she remained friends with the two people who betrayed her.. but I suppose we all knew deep down it was killing her slowly.  She had requested to be taken off the machines that fought to keep her living.  I could not make it to the hospital that day, but according to my friends who did go..she told them all she was "ready" to die..and she was happy.

I don't know what hurts more. Thinking of the inner turmoil she felt, or the fact she no longer had the will to live, despite of her children. Life hands us many challenges, and we all have a choice. We can either be so self absorbed and wrapped in our own sadness to let it get to us..or focus on those around us whom we want to continue living for. I still don't know how to form a solid opinion of this. Is it fair to make someone continue on because you don't want to let them go? Are they wrong for being so sad that they couldn't continue?

 Either way.. I had a lot of time to contemplate these things today. Finally seeing my old friend was both a shock and comfort and we embraced like long lost brothers. Time had change our appearance but not our feelings. Neither of us cried, but just continued to stroll around the grounds..one cigarette after the other, reminiscing our childhood. I think it was nice for both of us to laugh a little bit. I believe there will be no  funeral, instead we had a celebration of life..and as I wandered those beautiful seven acres I got to examine myself a little bit. Of course the conclusions I have come to, I will keep to myself. After all, this is not about me.

I hope where ever you are Jane, you are finally happy and at peace. I promise to be a better friend to your son, and I am sure one day we will meet again.

Love,

Yu.

Imaginary Illness' on SL

This is always been something on my mind for a long time. Always something I've been annoyed with. So I am about to ask you all a loaded and very controversial question:

How many "sick" people do you know on SL?

There are a lot of people on SL for several reasons, and I realize there are many people with conditions that make it that they are stuck at home, cannot work and otherwise only have SL to maintain a social life. I will not doubt there are many people with real problems who are here amongst us. Yet it gets ridiculous when I hear the typical ones by many people, who honestly I believe are just attention seeking whores.

I will cite my skepticism by someone whom I first known on SL. I have given his initial many times on this blog, titled C. You see, he is someone who would not let me, or anyone else forget how sick and dying he was. He always talked about his pain..and I fell for it. It was how he controlled people around him.  He used it as an excuse to be a jerk, used it as blackmail to keep people around him and most of it he used it to fuel my guilt. It was not until later that I found that wasn't very sick at all. Hell, his own roommate admitted that he lied about a lot of things.

Course I will not focus on all the lies. I want to focus on the sick thing. I am so disgusted by the amount of people who do this.I have heard stories of people claiming to be sick on one alt, but then playing on another while said alt is "in the hospital getting chemo." Another example is when I encountered someone being rude to one off my staff members one day, and IMed him and told him not to insult my staff in my club. His response?

"FUCK YOU I HAVE CANCER."

..and? You think I honestly care about your imaginary cancer? Yes, I said imaginary, because I am way past giving people the benefit of the doubt on here. It's a sad truth, but I know (for the most part) how true cancer, terminally ill, chronically ill people behave. In most cases, including myself, people who are sick do not like to talk about it let alone spread it around. Why? The pity, the attention, the questions.. it becomes too much. People who are truly sick work to not dwell on it but live through it, past it..and usually like to keep it private. I myself have disclosed the details of my RL and my life to the right people and friends, I never broadcast my struggles nor ask for pity. It's not my style, nor is it not the style of people I know who are legitimately ill.

 But if you're an lying attention whore? Well all those sorrys, asspats and huggles must make you feel FANTASTIC. Forget the fact you are lying, using your so-called friends, manipulating their emotions, hell making them cry over you when all you are is just healthy as a horse and feeding from the attention. These people especially use it as an excuse to act like an ass as well. "Well I'm sick, I don't care what I say or do." Even if they were really sick, no one has an excuse to act out like an immature prat or a bully. The best thing about these people is that eventually they are not hard to figure out. They're always claiming to be dying, but they're always somehow online to make miraculous overnight recoveries...or you ask them about their illness and they seem to stumble.

Again, I know this may get negative reviews. "Omg Yu, how dare you question them! What if they really are sick?" ...Yeah? You know how many times I don't even want to open my mouth because of what people say and think? Since there are so many people who fake their diseases here online, I myself am faced with doubt, therefore I honestly don't bother talking about it. Ever. Those who employ me get the gist when I have to take a leave..my most loved ones know everything, otherwise it's no ones goddamn business. I'm not here to make people feel sad, I'm here to share friendship and adventures.

I'm not saying do not support your friends. Again I know there are several people who are sick and have opened up to share it. It takes a brave soul to, and it takes great friends to be there for you. Yet just be wary of those alts that seem to revolve their world..and your world around their sickness.

So a word to the wise, I would like to remind all those who do claim to be sick to be careful, because any funds, donations or whatever things you may receive? That's fraud and a felony in pretty much every country. Also karma has quite the sense of humor..keep pretending you have some sort if terminal disease and you may just get what you wish for.

Until next time,

Yu

Gays and Gossip

Title got your attention?

Of course all types of people perform gossip. Yet I will not lie it seems very prominent in our happy little gay community on Second Life. While one may think there are many gay people on SL, it is actually relatively small. Most likely when you meet someone new he is already acquainted with one or more people from your friends list. I guess I could say that we are our own high school within the world of Second Life.

I noticed this when I took a break on my alt to explore. I kept my alt out of the gay community and did other activities. Granted there was drama but there seems to be much more options open if you choose not to restrict yourself to just gay sims and gay clubs. It was actually quite peaceful and now and then I log onto him to just rather enjoy the solace I get. I love exploring sims, and its easier done when doing it on an alt when no one is IMing you with crap like "Theres no DJ!" "We need dancers" "Yu so and so says you're a dick."

And there we go. It happens. Everywhere I go, every time I log onto Second Life or facebook I am hearing some sort of gossip. Sometimes it's not related to me at all. Usually if that happens I laugh it off, may pass it to my best friend but then leave it at that. I'm not huge on spreading gossip, I don't feel the need to tell everyone on my goddamn list. Yet other times it makes the full circle. So for example, I do or say something to someone. They get butt hurt and go to their circle and cry and whine what a bitch I am, of course since a lot gays can't keep their mouths shut, it comes back to me. Funny right?   I thought what is most funny is that after something so small, so insignificant caused such a huge fuss. Makes me wonder.

You must have a ton of time on your hands.

Or you just love me.

I think I might conclude that. If they all have time to talk about me, they must secretly love me. I am after all living rent-free inside their heads and hearts. I think what kills me the most, is the person who was so disturbed by what I said did not have the guts to tell me. Course, defriending me and crying about it is the more mature response? I guess I am one of the few people who like to be confronted. I like talking about things, even more so to clear up understands; but then again I will quote one of my most beloved "haters," who once said "It is fun to hate you." Well, there you go folks. I just wish they hate me to my face, that's more fun then childish gossip, right?

C'mon folks, this isn't gossip girl. Mmm though I do love me a Bass. And I am sure it would be easy for someone to make a blog and pick up the role of our own version....hmm. Yeah no.

Gossip is actually detrimental, to the weak minded. Personally I am not swayed by it. For instance someone close to me does not like one of my friends. Well, did not like, they eventually just got over a past tiff. (You see what happens when you just IM the prick?) But despite how he felt about my friend, I did not change my opinion. My friend didn't personally hurt me, why should I suddenly join his "hate" club when he did nothing to me?

Ahhhh...sadly again not everyone is like this. I have lost friends over gossip and misunderstandings. Then again nothing can be done when people are easily influenced by poison, and some people just relish in hate. I guess they will understand one day. When you surround yourself with poison and poisonous friends, you too become the same poison. Until you are burned by your so called friends, do you realize. Well lucky for some of my lost "friends" I have not betrayed their secrets or pasts to anyone, and not just because I'm such a good person...it's because I honestly don't give a fuck.

Your SL is your SL. Do what you want. Use your account how you want. Lie how you want. Obsess over the people you dislike.

 Just remember though, if you feel the need to gossip or hate on someone, try something different and actually IMing the person whom your lips keep talking about. I'm sure it'll be 10x more interesting than your coddle of friends saying "yeah" "that's right" "so true." Course, that might be asking some people to grow a pair, and I know for a fact THAT is asking for too much.

Until next time,

- Yu

{Mood: Waking up}
{Music: ONE OK ROCK 「アンサイズニア]}

Meaning of Friendship

Well, I suppose you guys were expecting me to be posting from the other side of the world. Yet here I am, sitting in the same house, the same desk and enjoying a late night cigarette.

You see, though I can never call myself a true religious person, I do believe there are powers in the universe greater than us. Fate. Karma. Whatever you wish to call it. Things happen for a reason. Of course I will admit I did not enjoy finding out last minute with my bags packed at the airport..that my trip would not be a wise choice. I will not go into details, but because I have not finished certain procedures here in the USA, if I was to leave now, my chances of being able to re-enter would be difficult and slim. Therefore I cancelled my trip and I am given the opportunity to find work here and remain here. So in the end, I  am getting what I want. Though I eased my friends earlier when I said medical advances in Japan were relatively the same is the USA..this was a slight white lie. USA healthcare still dominates. Yet enough of that.

I want to give my thoughts on friendship. I am always wondering what makes a good friend. Over time I have slowly come to understand that friends come in all shapes and sizes but they all carry one special element: they are there for you.

True friendships are not disposable. No matter how much you may disagree sometimes, or no matter how much you fight, you cannot simply let go. Friends are not toys. They were not there to amuse you when you are alone or bored and to be later abandoned when you are feeling good about something or someone else. It is something I have learned as I have gained new friends and relationships. Just because I have connected with one person, does not mean I should disconnect with the friend that were there before who was always encouraging me. This especially holds true in relationships.

They say relationships come and go, but friends are forever. Even though I may think I have found happiness in some place, I could never forget my friends that held me up when I was alone, betrayed or felt abandoned. In fact I would love to share my happiness, instead of selfishly hoard it while saying "fuck the rest, I got what I need." But the question is, do you? Life is not so predictable. I find that if I suddenly relished in my current happiness and told my old friends to take a hike, karma would bitchslap me back into place, like it has done many times. Cause the moment life rips that happiness away, or that relationship goes sour, who will I have to turn to? Could I call myself a good person if I stomped on my friends? Could I honestly run back to them and cry?

If I was that type of person, probably not. Eventually people get tired of that. Friends are to be there, to be loved and respected in the good and bad times..not just when they are convenient. They fight for you. They love you and lastly..they cry for you. When you get in a fight with a friend, do you not feel sad because you wish to continue to fight for your friendship? I've done this with some of my closest friends. They know me and my temper, but even in the middle of the fight I break down and admit that I don't want to fight. I love them, and that I don't mean it. Then again, I have a guilty conscious. My friend Spike could admit to this. I will be in the middle of yelling over something stupid but then later, not five minutes later I'm like "...sorry." In which he usually responds, "I know b."

Because at the end of the day, most arguments and tempers and yelling is over something so stupid, so petty it not worth losing your friend over. Especially the type of friends who will throw themselves in harms way for you. Especially for friends who will fight for you. Yet as I watch other people waste their friends away selfishly, only thinking of themselves..it only encourages me to cherish my friends more and to do better. Our friendship is worth it, they are worth it.

Even though I am content and happy now, I know one day I will be sad and distraught. I will be feeling alone, so who will be there to pick me up? My friends of course, because I let them know every chance I get that they are loved and not forgotten. My happiness is their happiness.

Until next time,

- Yu

Time for Battle

Hey all, a few announcements before I get to the reason of the title. First off I will be leaving the USA this coming Wednesday and going to Japan. Again I am not sure my exact working schedule yet, but I should be able to get online. (Not as much though.) If all goes well I will be returning in February!

Now I never done a DJ battle, but I think it's time I do one shall I? And who better with than with Cyrus. We are two different styles but I know we will both be bringing our A-Game so here are the details.

WHEN: Tuesday September 18th
TIME: 2-6 pm SLT
WHERE: Club Se>en

Schedule: 
Hour One: DJ Cyrus
Hour Two: DJ Yu
Hour Three: DJ Cy, DJ Yu ---- Voting round.
Hour Four: Victory Hour by Winner

Voting:
Voting will be done via the voting board (not tips.) This will encourage everyone to vote without pressuring people to spend a ton of linden. Though our tip boards will be out and we will appreciate any coming our way.

Prizes:
This event will be sponsored by .RoTtEn DeFiAnCe.
Prizes from the store will be given out at random just for being there!

Super Sploder:
Randomly me and other staff members will put in 250 or more into the sploder for a Super Sploder! Giving you the chance to win big!

It's tomorrow and it's going to be amped. So put on party clothes and get ready to dance your ass off.

Who will you vote for?

Who will win?

That's for YOU to decide..

The Saga Continues

Well folks I did promise a continuation of my narrative, which I will in just a minute. First I would like to say a small disclaimer. During my narration I be using initials and never full names. Those I do name fully have given me their consent and mainly because this narrative will not reflect them negatively.

Granted if some of the readers do end up finding out who the mentioned people are, I will hold no responsibility since I did not disclose names. Furthermore, just like real life people need to understand that we all have reputations. Reputations do not disappear as easily on SL as they do RL. The more people you step on, word will get around until you are left with just yourself.

----------------------------------------------

It was the rise of a new clan. It was always the three of us. Myself, C, and CW. At this time I did not know how close CW was to C, but they were always together. C even tried to hook me up with CW but I was not interested in nekos let alone his whole promiscuity. Yet being friends seemed to suffice. Being still new I did not know anything about getting land or sims or whatnot. Yet what seemed in a few days I began to recognize odd behavior from C. Even though him and his partner had broken up he was still not planning to partner with me. Course I did not think twice about it until I saw him begin to spend time with certain people.

The one I remember vividly was a boy named R. It wasn't long before this boy was in C's arms and buying everything. He bought our new sim, our new castle and everything with it. Not understanding the situation I was just angry and hated everything about the little shit. It was not long before their relationship ended. I was not surprised, C was sleeping with everyone under the sun and R stopped showing up. Ironically the moment R left our little "family" or sim also disappeared. Course I was not putting two and two together. It wasn't later until something similar happened with Y and then later a guy named Z. All the while I was foolishly, helplessly in love with this monster.

There was not a day his temper got the best of him and I would be yelled at or put down. Other says of course he would continue to quote how sick he is and that he is dying. I was completely reeled in. Meanwhile though Z was sticking around and funding nearly everything. This time, he would continue to stick around and we would get settled enough to create a failed club. This is where my DJing began though and as days passed I became more distant with C and his flunkies and went out to the outside world to get involved with an ex of mine. I will not speak much about him for the moment, because I did have a lot of feelings for him at the time and he helped keep me sane.The more I distanced myself from C the more I began to notice just what a whore he was. He claimed he slept with them to get money, but I know he was sleeping with them just because.

You're probably wondering when Spike is going to show in the picture. Don't worry folks that is coming soon. I left a lot of details out prior to him. Like our former King. Our old escort service and club Pharaoh, but my memory is sadly not that great. Don't worry, next time I get into this it should be more exciting.

----------------------------------------

Next Journal I will be bringing some news about my upcoming move and also I will be doing a Q and A. That means anyone can ask me a question and I will be answering them.

Questions can be submitted via IM (notecard if I am offline) to Yu Exonar. They can also be submitted via facebook messages or in the comment section below.

Until next time,

-  Yu 

Dealing with Tantrums

I was not planning on writing this soon. Yet most bloggers know that they write when something is on their mind. And this is exactly what I am doing right now. I am not happy to write this but I feel like this is a good way to express myself and convey to others what they should do in these kinds of situations.

You see, today I was the victim of another users tantrum. To be honest I am not sure what triggered it. The user was a facebook friend of random one day. It was not until later that I found out he was the alt of someone I used to know. Of course, that is none of my business so I said "huh" and moved on. It wasn't until today that they decided to attack and say I can't hold anything over their head. Funny thing was, I never did nor cared enough to. I was doing my thing. But if you want someone to blame, I guess go ahead and blame me. I've long made peace that in life, not everyone will like me. That is okay. I do me, you do you.

What bothered me is then this user used facebook and tagged me in their hate-filled posts. No one wants to be a part of that. No one wants to see that. Of course when I tried to get to the bottom of why they felt the need to bash me, they said because I was a dick and it was "fun to hate me."  ...Okay. Yet can't you hate me in your own time? Or in my message box? Why must someone attack others in public. Don't you realize you're hurting yourself more by openly displaying your uglier side? Of course though I took the high road, wished them well and let them continue with their tantrum.

Its no different from what a child does, right? They scream and cry and kick and try everything to get a reaction out of you. Yet as an adult we cannot engage. We cannot stoop to their level. It's our job to be the mature ones. Though I tell you my friends, it was not easy but it was overall more satisfying. I did not sully myself in front of my friends and I never became a bully back. I honestly don't like bullies. Of course that raises the "but Yu, you're a jerk." quote I get a lot.

I will own up to that. I am not easy to get along with sometimes. I am brash, outspoken and dead honest and it rubs people the wrong the way. One thing I am not though is bully. I do not attack people. I think the times people see me at my worst is when my friends are being attacked, because I will stick up for them. Of course I will always man up to my own faults. It's a part of being an adult. It is something that I had to eventually learn. There are times I get angry too, there are times I go off when I shouldn't. Yet the times I do will always own up to my mistakes and take responsibility. It's good for the soul.I never flinch when I apologize.

I will let you guys know a little more about the real life me. I will admit I was not the best person in the world. I was forced to moved to America as a teenager and I hated it. I rebelled and became the worst type of person involved in some of the worst types of things. Though it is in the past and I have long been punished for my deeds, I am still not without guilt to the people I have hurt needlessly. Around the age of 21 I was smacked back into reality by karma. Karma had made me sick.  I've been given my punishment and I am still living and struggling with my condition. Course I never feel sorry for myself. It has only given me the strength to try to be the better person.

So remember my SL readers and friends and comrades, if you ever find yourself in a position where you are angry or upset with someone, be sure to address them personally. Making it a public display is just debilitating and hurts everyone else around them. I respect the people who come to me in person, instead of showing passive aggression or blowing it up out of proportion. Again while it's nice to wish people share this maturity, it will not always be the case. So remember, lets take a moment. Breath. Count to ten.. and be the adult.

Until next time,

- Yu

Fearless in Pink

Has it been five days? I thought it was only a few. Oh well. I checked my blog status to see I have had 66 views. I have to give props to Spike on that I think. Yet oddly no comments or feedback. Even if your opinion is negative I'd love to hear it about it. Don't worry, I won't lose sleep over them. Haha.

Today's blog will be about well, assumptions, avatar style and my odd liking to pink. I don't just mean SL, I sport pink in RL like it's no ones business. Then again, I am part of a race where we can wear just about any color without being deemed "gay." My RL flame does not burn bright. People would have to have good gaydar or catch me slipping up in my speech, to know I am.

Now check this picture I took a few minutes ago:

There's my ass floating in my hot tub sporting my pink briefs and my pink heart glasses.
(Briefs are Ronsem and glasses are Kgs, currently available on a lucky board.)

I am proud to wear pink. I make it look good. Does this make me any more of a bitch? I'd like to think not but it really makes people assume what kind of person I am based on my avatar.  Sad fact is, I have this problem with my own community, the gay community.

Now be honest, how many people so far have looked at me  and immediately thought "twink" or "boi" or "bitch" etc. I cannot tell you how many IMs I have gotten in the past by some dominant master calling me by these terms. Of course being the even tempered person I am I respond by saying "BITCH YOU DON' KNOW ME!" ..Not really, but I do get snippy. You should never assume someone's role, sexual or not, based on looks alone. Course then I get the 'Well if you don't want to be treated like a twink, don't make your avatar look like one.' ..Seriously? I fashioned my avatar after my RL self. Because of my race I am skinny, not that tall and essentially do not have body hair. Yet do not mistake for a second that I'm going to just roll onto my stomach and take it.

I'm quite honestly tired of the stereotypes. But fine, if you want to assume I'm a bottom bitch..I can't stop you. It's the people that have the audacity to IM me. Especially masters. I don't judge you if you are in the D/S lifestyle, but do not put me in it. Not every gay man is willing to put a collar on, nor do they wish to own slaves. Usually people who are into that make it known via profiles or groups or tags. So yeah, I normally do flip a little when I get an IM of someone calling me a "boi". I'm a man dammit, and no less a stranger. I would never IM someone and be like "oh yeah baby, nice muscles, come tie me up." It sounds and looks ridiculous.

So lets think twice before we look at someone's appearance and go assuming. Cause I've seem some big bitches before and I am sure they don't appreciate being IMed all the time by "subs."

FYI. For all those curious, 
Though I receive, I also give, and I tear asses up. 


Next post will probably continue more of my history.

Until next time,

- Yu

SL's Most "Talented"

Well I'm back. The fact I am posting again is pretty damn amazing. Of course who would I be to wait too long to post something controversial, right? This entry will be in two parts. Part one will have to do with the title. Part two will continue with the saga of my SL life. Interesting right? Either way you can skip one part or both parts!

What do I mean by "talented?" Well lets see. Second Life gives us the opportunity to make our creative juices flow. We can assume all sorts of roles, we can also assume all sorts of titles. There are three titles that come to mind in which I will nitpick at. That is 1. Designers. 2. Photographers and 3. DJs. 

All three of these "titles" I will call them get all sorts of attention. To be one of them gives you a sense of pride (I would hope.) But as I spoke to a friend earlier, I shall quote that there are many that do these things for the wrong reasons. Could there be a wrong reason? In my mind; absolutely. Think about it. These kinds of jobs or positions or hobbies all have to do with some sort of creative input. A designer puts time in making their clothes or items. A photographer will spend countless hours in Photoshop. A DJ will spend days compiling and selecting the perfect music for their next set. Now here is where I have a problem with many of these people:

Get your heads out of your own fucking asses.

That's right. So many people are doing this for popularity over the enjoyment of doing it. How can you tell? They're the people who nearly scream in their profile of how awesome they are. They are the people who put down other people in their same field.  They're the people who think they're so goddamn perfect, no one else matters nor can anyone else surpass them. ...so, you got an ego huh? Let me bring some of you down a few notches shall I?

1. Designers:

Oh hey there. Make a new item of clothing? Does it look purty? Tell me, did you use a template? Or how about the textures? Did you personally Photoshop that or take it from Deviantart or Google? Is the idea original?  Did you give credit to the people who made that piece of clothing possible? Even just a little side note?  Did you just download a full-modded item and simply make a few changes? -- Ask yourself these questions and think twice before you have any right to judge someone else on their clothes or think you are the supreme designer. Many people "sell-out" and do it for a quick buck instead of taking time to make an actual piece of art. 

2. Photographers

Granted, there are a LOT of talented photographers. And rarely do I see one photographer put down another. In fact, some of the most talented photographers I know are humble and kind. Its actually the less talented that seem to get a chip on their shoulder. Excuse me? You charge WHAT? And the background you used? Who made it? Cause I can bet you, most of you did not make that yourself. Any credits to the DA artist? Did you actually Photoshop it instead of one of those quick stop online editors? No? Enough said.

3. DJs 

Of course I will be most critical here because this is what I am most familiar with. Yes, I am an SL "DJ", and I will use quotations because I am in the group of many "DJs" who well,  are not actually DJs. Let me be more specific. I see myself as an okay, if not decent DJ. I stick to my own style. I'm always playing fresh beats. I interact with the crowd and use voice. But lets face it, me and so many of these other so called "DJs" aren't even genuine. That's right, myself included. I'm willing to admit that. We rip off remixes real DJ's have done. We form a playlist. We input some voice and voila! At the end of the day, how much "talent" do we have? Even to this day I could never fully brag of my "DJ" prowess, especially when I been to clubs with real DJs who not only mix their own music, but do it live. They have real equipment, real table turners. So it makes me wonder why..oh WHY are there so many DJs, (especially in the gay community) who think they are God's gift to music? Are you serious? There are mini divas out there who think their shit don't stink because they believe their playlist is better than someone else. Yeah? I've seen middle-school kids bitch over the same thing as they compare their Ipods on the school yard. I just love how some of you even charge for your mad "DJing" services.

Again, I am not angry at the fact this is how it is. So we use materials from others. I get it. It's just bothersome the power trip people get. Suddenly they feel like they are such good talent and it is okay to stomp on everyone else. Well sweet-cheeks, look around. I can guarantee some of the most humblest of designers, photographers and DJ's are some of the best. They don't need to brag. They're happy with what they do and that should be enough. 

So before you look down on someone else in your field or brag of your superiority, I will ask you to think twice about what you really offer. Perhaps our SL may be a little more pleasant. 

----------------------------------------------------------

Now continuing with my SL saga. I'd say after a few months of being promiscuous and over all shameful, I decided it was time to join a family That is where I met the infamous..C. Yes we will call him C. I met him at Tristar (go figure). He was a part of a Bloodlines Clan. It was not long before I was whisked into a world of vampires, slaves and overall large dose of  WTF. It was led by a very eccentric and benevolent King who is still my very good friend. Sadly he is not around as often and only signs in to check on things. 

The main focus was C though. He became everything to me. My maker, my mentor and consequently someone I would do everything for. In time our wonderful King stepped down, giving throne to C himself to create a new clan. Of course I was behind him 100%, even though I was shamefully diddling him behind his lover's back, with the promise he will leave him for me. (I know I was horrible and naive.) Let's just say that did not happen, as I would soon learn he needed his dear hubby for the funds, as he would for the next line of lucky men. 

It goes without saying, he was the first step in my path to become the jerk I am today. At that time, I never thought that he could possibly be too good to be true. And in time I would learn how dark and twisted people can be on here.

Of course that is for another entry. See you next time.

- Yu

Let's Begin

This will either be one of two things for ME:

1. A fantastic blog in which I am excited to post in with continuous feedback from readers.
2. A total failure piece of internet crap dribble which will be abandoned within a month.

This will be either one of three things for YOU:

1. A refreshing an amusing blog from the mind of an slightly neurotic gay Asian.
2. A crass and offensive piece of trash you can't stop reading our of sheer curiosity and self-loathing.
3. A crass and offensive piece of trash you'll write off from day one..or maybe a week later.

Shall we get started? For those of you reading my blog, you may or may not know me in the second life world. For those of you who know or heard of me, its likely you're not fond of me. This is okay. The one who so forth made an effort to make me out to be such an asshole is yours truly. Perhaps one day I will explain why.

Still interested?

I started this blog because I am finding myself with more time on my hands and a lot more things on my mind.   Yet for my readers to understand the person I am now, it is only simple to start with the beginning . Yes? And by beginning I mean my SL one, not my RL. I will save the saga of my real life for much later entries. I am not entirely ready to expose myself to a bunch of anonymous readers who probably have their hands down their pants right now. Did I catch you? Stop that. Goddamn perverts.

Let's see...I started my Second Life like every other newbie. I quickly pasted together an avi I thought suitable for the time, turned on adult search and went cruising for wild, anonymous, ugly, freenis and just horrific pixel sex. It was to say the least  ugly. Yet my curiosity and the amount of gay naked noobs wandering around Tristar was simply too irresistible in my eyes. Of course these days of cruising and looking for the next fix soon become drawl and pointless in my eyes. To say the least I was lonely and actually had no friends nor a family on SL.

Then I joined Blood Lines, like a goddamn idiot. Hahaha. No seriously, I think it put me on the path I am today. I will not bore you all with the whole story of how I got to where I am. This was meant to be an introduction of what I plan to be doing here on this blog. I will be posting things like:

• Music groups, on SL or Off 
• Beautiful, unique sims 
• DJ's and clubs
• The dramas of my SL world and the gays who create it
• Items or clothing I think should be shared

And whatever else I feel like posting about. All the while I will be exposing to you who I truly am..both on SL and RL. It is a scary thought indeed. The name of my blog speaks for itself, there is a high chance I will offend one or many of you through the course of my blogging experience. To say the least though, I will not bore you. 

Cheers ladies and gentleman. 

- Yu