OMG A Fashion Post

Hello,

Well since I have been living quite peacefully, I have nothing to bitch about today. Haha, Good Job SL, you have managed to stay a little less drama filled than usual. Kudos.

Since I can't costume up and do Halloween RL, I decided to put together an original costume/look for the hell of it on SL. It really started with the horns, then with some inspiration from Mononoke (Kodama), I was able to piece this together.

Hope you like it.

Skin -  the body co. - Ash (med)

Shape - Dura -Custom-

Eyes - AVId: - Black moon eyes

Horns -ni.ju- Eurexiaun Horns

Hair -*Rock Candy*  -  Fiery (white)

Claws - Faeilin- Claws v.6.1 

Ropes - "ROPES"  - Slave Male

Shoulder Guard - CCR - Arrancar Arm and Shoulder

Tattoo - .Little Pricks. - The Warrior - full Body white

Faun Set - *RoTtEn DeFiAnCe* - White Fall Faun 

Mask -[LANEVO]- Kodama 

Stress Seeping Through

Well it's been a few since I posted last. My RL, though not extremely busy is still taking me away from my Second Life. Perhaps the most important thing for me at the moment is to find a job. I am sure many of you can relate, especially in this economy.

It is not just the money that I need, unfortunately a good job is also what I need to root me to this country. Again I am on a time crunch and I will probably need a job before the holidays. Therefore each passing day I feel the weight of finding one. Course this article is not going to feature me bitching about my RL. We all have problems we have to deal with and many stresses, which is why I believed I made a mistake the other day and let my real life stress affect negatively on my SL experience.

I constantly tell my friends and family on SL that unlike real life, we have many choices. In real life, whether it be a work environment, family or even friends..it is not so easy to block the negativity that hits us daily. Second Life allows us to cut that out with a click of a button. Someone harassing you? Mute them. Someone coming onto your property? Ban them. These wonderful features cut the stress and allow us to enjoy our Second Lives. That's why I always encourage my loved ones to let go of those who are poison, because SL is meant to be enjoyed..and maybe even an escape from our daily RL stress.


Of course we are all human. Sometimes we can't help it. For example yesterday I had such an awful day. What I thought would be a day long interview for a good company, I found out it was another pyramid scam. You know, the type of job where you go business to business selling shit? Sure, they have a base salary..only if you open 8 new accounts a week, otherwise its commission. There were no benefits, no payment for the mileage of traveling etc. To say the least it was very disappointing and long day. I probably should have gone home and laid down for a while, listened to music and give myself time to calm down before logging in. I did the exact opposite, I walked straight into my room, took off my jacket and without changing out of my uncomfortable suit, I logged onto SL.


 Focused on my own bad day, I could not absorb the surroundings or other people's feelings. I tped into my club and was immediately surrounded by people and IMs. To say the least I was feeling overwhelmed, but I wanted to be there nonetheless. Still, the stress I felt that day gave me absolute zero patience, which resulted in an even worse day when I got into a fight. I will not go into it as it is my own personal business, but I did learn one thing important.. the need to drop my stress from whatever the day I had before logging on. In the end, none of us want to take out our frustrations on everyone else around us, especially to loved ones. Sadly though alot of people are on SL for that very reason. I do not find it excusable.

I hear people say: "Cut him/her a break, you have no idea what is going on in their RL right now."

And sure, maybe they are going through something and it causes them to act out, but it's no excuse to treat others poorly around you daily because of a chip on your shoulder. We are all on SL to unwind and experience things in a stress-free way. If we always selfishly harbor our bad realities and take them out on strangers, it overall makes for a bad internet environment. So I will encourage myself and others to stop and take a deep breath before logging on. If RL is kicking you in the nuts or ovaries, the last thing you want to do is turn it on the people who do care about you. I find that listening to music or watching TV..or even having a cigarette and petting my dogs helps.

Even I can learn things too now and then.

Until next time,

Yu

Let It Go

It's been a moment since I had a chance to write, but of course even from my small hiatus from the internet did not stop time. Drama still ensued as normal. Though it would be easy to go into what the exact drama is or once again why people feel the need to cause it, there is one thing I would simply like to say.

Why can't anyone just..let it go?

I mean this with all honesty. You see this drama is not random, it is simply fueled by individuals holding an ancient grudge and hate towards others. Yet it makes me wonder how petty can you be? First off, whatever misunderstanding or tiff that happened, it was probably long ago. If not? I bet it was over something very small, like a club scheduling for instance. [ ;) ]. Or for the mere fact that its Second Life.  So it makes me wonder what causes people to hold grudges for so long and to cause them to invest time into "ruining" someone else on SL.

Yes I said "ruin", in quotations. Why? Cause it's hilarious. Since SL is a place were you cannot kill someone, or physically hurt them, the next best thing I guess you can do is try to harm their reputation. As if that honestly works. I still know people who run around crying about me, but its ironic. All those who have something horrible to say about me actually know nothing about me. I think its even more funny for them to try to tell my close friends these things, cause I know they scoff at it.

My SL is for me to have fun. Therefore when I came back and heard all the recent drama I simply said 'I don't give a fuck what they do.' ... After all they are the ones obsessing. You know you should take a deep breath and try letting go whatever unimportant grudge you hold, because it's not worth it.

Check this out from this website.

. When we are in a negative state we do not attract those elements that would make our lives advance; rather we attract the circumstances that support us in thinking something is wrong, and we get stuck. Simply put, when we stay thinking negative, we attract negative emotions and events. Thus when one is in a negative state everything seems to go wrong.

So honestly kiddos, you ain't doing yourselves any favors. Whats even more hilarious is that I notice most of these negative Nancies flock together. It's like a cluster of hate, while pretending to be the most loving group of friends. Deep down I know none of them trust each other, and they will continually drag each other down. Well this is dandy with me, cause I've long since let it go.

Let just hope others take my advice. It's 10x more healthy to think on the good things than dwell over a couple of asshats on the internet.

Until next time,

Yu

Alt Abuse

I been meaning to write this sooner, but I have been preoccupied with a lot of things. I spent half the day at the doctors, rest of it in bed. I also plan to spend the majority of my day in bed..and maybe get some fresh air.  If you're wondering what I was at the doctor's for yesterday, too bad. Either you know or you don't, again my blog will not reflect that part of my life.

I didn't want to wait any longer to write this. I feel like if I stop writing in here for an extended amount of time, I will never write it in again. Now onto the topic.

Alts..most, if not everyone has one on Second Life. We use alts for multiple purposes. They can be used as models, banks, bots or even holding name purposes. Other people like  myself had made alts for artistic purposes. I made my alt not only for some peace, but also to explore a darker side and use him to indulge into the arts. He is an extension of myself but is still me. I have entrusted a number of my friends to know who my alt is so they can contact me. My alt is not there for deception.

Now, this is where I get to the main point of the title. Alt abuse. How many is too many? Also, why do people think it is okay to continuously make alts in order to harass someone. If they block you the first time, shouldn't that give you the hint? I do not see the reason why someone would also make an alt to spread rumors around. This has not happened to me, but this has happened to two dear people of mine. For instance someone made an alt and spread rumors about him and to anyone who hung out with him..to tarnish any reputation or chance of a relationship. Another friend had to deal with an ex-friend of theirs alting, making fake logs and making a sad attempt to ruin her business.

Seriously folks, how much fucking time do you have?

I can barely balance two alts, let alone thinking of making even more to bug and harass people. Then again it gets worse. The two alts I mentioned above were just noobs, blanks. No pictures, early creation date and they were never used again...but others? People will put a lot of linden and love into their alt. They'll make it pretty and perfect and set it out into SL. So..whats the problem? I did the same thing with my alt. Yet lets make this clear.

I do not, nor will ever use my alt to harass the current people I know. Nor will I try use him to play mind games or to cheat on my boyfriend. None of that is sane to me..yet it happens. I can name a few people in the gay community who love making alts. Hell, I know one guy who made and alt recently and is passing it off as his boyfriend. I wonder how long that will last, but I think it's sad hes lying to his friends. Then again, this said person also was on an alt while his main one was claiming he was dying of cancer of some sort. Classy man...and most of us know who you are. I won't bother to say names.

I've seen others make alts after they claim they quit SL, only to roam around and do the same last thing they made them want to quit last time. Not only that, instead of a fresh start they just keep thrusting their alt into the same old community in hopes they can pass off for someone new. Well..sorry everyone, eventually we all find out who you are. There is really no point in hiding it. An alt should have a purpose, other than holding multiple relationships, harassing or playing mind games. Second Life provides a chance for us to have multiple faces and identities..unlike RL. So maybe it's time to stop abusing it.

Until next time,

Yu

Saying Goodbye

Today.. I had to do something I haven't done in a long time.

The news hit me like a wave, and I was unable to comprehend let alone let it sink in. It was this past Friday I found out she died, Jane. I remember I had to DJ then, but I was too focused just to get through the day to not think about it. Subconsciously though I think it has been eating at me. I've been irrational and emotional during the day and drunk at night the past two days. It was today I finally had to face it all.

I'll give you all some background. My first couple years in the USA were unbearable. I could barely speak English, I was bullied and overall felt very alone. Yet there was one classmate who took me in. Kyle was my best friend growing up..and his mother, Jane had become something like a surrogate. She was full of life, and had many "adopted" sons roaming her house. We weren't bad kids, but we were hard to understand and often got in trouble. Those years of my youth were less painful with that family, I had a friend who cared enough for me to let me be apart of his life.

Sadly once high school was over.. I was already transforming in that ugly person I often referred to myself as and we lost touch. There was a huge gap where I have not seen or spoken to my once good friend. I heard tidbits of news now and then and worried about him..but I never appreciated him enough. I never took time to see him when I should of, and I am sure he felt the same. We were once best friends who lost touch..and the reason was simply because our lives took us elsewhere. Course as time went on, the news of his mother became worse and worse. Jane's husband left her for her best friend..and then the spiral happened.

I feel mostly for my friend, who loved his family so much but had to watch as his mother give up on living. I am sad to say the woman who gave me so much to me and many others, could not find the will to fight on. She let her depression and sadness bring her into a state where she did not want help. She drank heavily, so much to where it eventually killed her. The doctors told her that most of  her liver was destroyed, and her kidneys were no longer working. We like to believe people die of old age, or health complications..but for Jane, it was her own sadness that eventually made her give up on life. She was a loving woman, she remained friends with the two people who betrayed her.. but I suppose we all knew deep down it was killing her slowly.  She had requested to be taken off the machines that fought to keep her living.  I could not make it to the hospital that day, but according to my friends who did go..she told them all she was "ready" to die..and she was happy.

I don't know what hurts more. Thinking of the inner turmoil she felt, or the fact she no longer had the will to live, despite of her children. Life hands us many challenges, and we all have a choice. We can either be so self absorbed and wrapped in our own sadness to let it get to us..or focus on those around us whom we want to continue living for. I still don't know how to form a solid opinion of this. Is it fair to make someone continue on because you don't want to let them go? Are they wrong for being so sad that they couldn't continue?

 Either way.. I had a lot of time to contemplate these things today. Finally seeing my old friend was both a shock and comfort and we embraced like long lost brothers. Time had change our appearance but not our feelings. Neither of us cried, but just continued to stroll around the grounds..one cigarette after the other, reminiscing our childhood. I think it was nice for both of us to laugh a little bit. I believe there will be no  funeral, instead we had a celebration of life..and as I wandered those beautiful seven acres I got to examine myself a little bit. Of course the conclusions I have come to, I will keep to myself. After all, this is not about me.

I hope where ever you are Jane, you are finally happy and at peace. I promise to be a better friend to your son, and I am sure one day we will meet again.

Love,

Yu.

Imaginary Illness' on SL

This is always been something on my mind for a long time. Always something I've been annoyed with. So I am about to ask you all a loaded and very controversial question:

How many "sick" people do you know on SL?

There are a lot of people on SL for several reasons, and I realize there are many people with conditions that make it that they are stuck at home, cannot work and otherwise only have SL to maintain a social life. I will not doubt there are many people with real problems who are here amongst us. Yet it gets ridiculous when I hear the typical ones by many people, who honestly I believe are just attention seeking whores.

I will cite my skepticism by someone whom I first known on SL. I have given his initial many times on this blog, titled C. You see, he is someone who would not let me, or anyone else forget how sick and dying he was. He always talked about his pain..and I fell for it. It was how he controlled people around him.  He used it as an excuse to be a jerk, used it as blackmail to keep people around him and most of it he used it to fuel my guilt. It was not until later that I found that wasn't very sick at all. Hell, his own roommate admitted that he lied about a lot of things.

Course I will not focus on all the lies. I want to focus on the sick thing. I am so disgusted by the amount of people who do this.I have heard stories of people claiming to be sick on one alt, but then playing on another while said alt is "in the hospital getting chemo." Another example is when I encountered someone being rude to one off my staff members one day, and IMed him and told him not to insult my staff in my club. His response?

"FUCK YOU I HAVE CANCER."

..and? You think I honestly care about your imaginary cancer? Yes, I said imaginary, because I am way past giving people the benefit of the doubt on here. It's a sad truth, but I know (for the most part) how true cancer, terminally ill, chronically ill people behave. In most cases, including myself, people who are sick do not like to talk about it let alone spread it around. Why? The pity, the attention, the questions.. it becomes too much. People who are truly sick work to not dwell on it but live through it, past it..and usually like to keep it private. I myself have disclosed the details of my RL and my life to the right people and friends, I never broadcast my struggles nor ask for pity. It's not my style, nor is it not the style of people I know who are legitimately ill.

 But if you're an lying attention whore? Well all those sorrys, asspats and huggles must make you feel FANTASTIC. Forget the fact you are lying, using your so-called friends, manipulating their emotions, hell making them cry over you when all you are is just healthy as a horse and feeding from the attention. These people especially use it as an excuse to act like an ass as well. "Well I'm sick, I don't care what I say or do." Even if they were really sick, no one has an excuse to act out like an immature prat or a bully. The best thing about these people is that eventually they are not hard to figure out. They're always claiming to be dying, but they're always somehow online to make miraculous overnight recoveries...or you ask them about their illness and they seem to stumble.

Again, I know this may get negative reviews. "Omg Yu, how dare you question them! What if they really are sick?" ...Yeah? You know how many times I don't even want to open my mouth because of what people say and think? Since there are so many people who fake their diseases here online, I myself am faced with doubt, therefore I honestly don't bother talking about it. Ever. Those who employ me get the gist when I have to take a leave..my most loved ones know everything, otherwise it's no ones goddamn business. I'm not here to make people feel sad, I'm here to share friendship and adventures.

I'm not saying do not support your friends. Again I know there are several people who are sick and have opened up to share it. It takes a brave soul to, and it takes great friends to be there for you. Yet just be wary of those alts that seem to revolve their world..and your world around their sickness.

So a word to the wise, I would like to remind all those who do claim to be sick to be careful, because any funds, donations or whatever things you may receive? That's fraud and a felony in pretty much every country. Also karma has quite the sense of humor..keep pretending you have some sort if terminal disease and you may just get what you wish for.

Until next time,

Yu

Gays and Gossip

Title got your attention?

Of course all types of people perform gossip. Yet I will not lie it seems very prominent in our happy little gay community on Second Life. While one may think there are many gay people on SL, it is actually relatively small. Most likely when you meet someone new he is already acquainted with one or more people from your friends list. I guess I could say that we are our own high school within the world of Second Life.

I noticed this when I took a break on my alt to explore. I kept my alt out of the gay community and did other activities. Granted there was drama but there seems to be much more options open if you choose not to restrict yourself to just gay sims and gay clubs. It was actually quite peaceful and now and then I log onto him to just rather enjoy the solace I get. I love exploring sims, and its easier done when doing it on an alt when no one is IMing you with crap like "Theres no DJ!" "We need dancers" "Yu so and so says you're a dick."

And there we go. It happens. Everywhere I go, every time I log onto Second Life or facebook I am hearing some sort of gossip. Sometimes it's not related to me at all. Usually if that happens I laugh it off, may pass it to my best friend but then leave it at that. I'm not huge on spreading gossip, I don't feel the need to tell everyone on my goddamn list. Yet other times it makes the full circle. So for example, I do or say something to someone. They get butt hurt and go to their circle and cry and whine what a bitch I am, of course since a lot gays can't keep their mouths shut, it comes back to me. Funny right?   I thought what is most funny is that after something so small, so insignificant caused such a huge fuss. Makes me wonder.

You must have a ton of time on your hands.

Or you just love me.

I think I might conclude that. If they all have time to talk about me, they must secretly love me. I am after all living rent-free inside their heads and hearts. I think what kills me the most, is the person who was so disturbed by what I said did not have the guts to tell me. Course, defriending me and crying about it is the more mature response? I guess I am one of the few people who like to be confronted. I like talking about things, even more so to clear up understands; but then again I will quote one of my most beloved "haters," who once said "It is fun to hate you." Well, there you go folks. I just wish they hate me to my face, that's more fun then childish gossip, right?

C'mon folks, this isn't gossip girl. Mmm though I do love me a Bass. And I am sure it would be easy for someone to make a blog and pick up the role of our own version....hmm. Yeah no.

Gossip is actually detrimental, to the weak minded. Personally I am not swayed by it. For instance someone close to me does not like one of my friends. Well, did not like, they eventually just got over a past tiff. (You see what happens when you just IM the prick?) But despite how he felt about my friend, I did not change my opinion. My friend didn't personally hurt me, why should I suddenly join his "hate" club when he did nothing to me?

Ahhhh...sadly again not everyone is like this. I have lost friends over gossip and misunderstandings. Then again nothing can be done when people are easily influenced by poison, and some people just relish in hate. I guess they will understand one day. When you surround yourself with poison and poisonous friends, you too become the same poison. Until you are burned by your so called friends, do you realize. Well lucky for some of my lost "friends" I have not betrayed their secrets or pasts to anyone, and not just because I'm such a good person...it's because I honestly don't give a fuck.

Your SL is your SL. Do what you want. Use your account how you want. Lie how you want. Obsess over the people you dislike.

 Just remember though, if you feel the need to gossip or hate on someone, try something different and actually IMing the person whom your lips keep talking about. I'm sure it'll be 10x more interesting than your coddle of friends saying "yeah" "that's right" "so true." Course, that might be asking some people to grow a pair, and I know for a fact THAT is asking for too much.

Until next time,

- Yu

{Mood: Waking up}
{Music: ONE OK ROCK 「アンサイズニア]}